Finding your groove so you can make it through to mid-term – and tips and tricks that might make the transition that little bit smoother

HOW are we all holding up?

We are only a few days back to school and we’re absolutely wrecked. Speechless. I’m not sure how we’ll handle the full five days next week. Although it’s the same every year – it takes a week or two to find your groove again, and sure then it’s nearly mid-term. In the meantime here are a few tips and tricks I’ve picked up that might make the transition a little smoother – or just make you feel better when the wheels start to come off or someone has a speed wobble. And of course just to point out that I’m no parenting guru so don’t come for me if none of these really help at all ….

Right, so I’m a great believer in laying things out the night before: that includes the uniforms, and setting the breakfast table. It’s a bit bonkers I know, but the simple act of placing a few cereal bowls on the kitchen counter before bed makes me feel like I’m already ahead. Each to their own etc.. I used to be absolutely great in the mornings, as soon as my feet hit the ground I’d be hit up and at ‘em. Not so much anymore. I blame Netflix. So anything that gives me a little head start, and kick start (coffee) I’m all over it.

Funnily enough that doesn’t include the school lunch. I know tonnes of people who make it the night before but I prefer the morning. Either way, it’s very hit and miss in this household, if it will even be eaten, so it’s not a task I approach with any great interest. I long to make really flamboyant lunches: sushi, a zingy chickpea salad, mint and feta pancakes, even plain old humous, but all that’s been deemed acceptable is bread and butter or a bread roll … and butter. Sometimes, but not always, with jam and an apple. It’s like something from ‘Angela’s Ashes’. I’ve pretty much made my peace with it but that doesn’t stop me dreaming about making things like cute little mini quiches or savoury scones. Maybe I could send them in for the teacher? I feel like I need her to know I can do better.

It’s a bit mad though how many ‘back to school’ recipes are coming at us left, right and centre. I think I had banana sandwiches every single day for lunch in primary school – and I don’t even like banana sandwiches but no one asked me. There was no big fuss or chat about it. In a moment of weakness I bought a new cookbook last week to try and muster up some inspiration  – and I figured if my side kick and I made some things together she may be more invested in actually eating them (I did try that last year too but ‘if at first …’ etc). Of course she went straight to the ‘treat’ section of the book and was getting very excited about ‘the ultimate banana bread’ which of course had Nutella while I was trying to muster up some enthusiasm for the more appropriate apple, carrot and banana muffins. I mean there’s no comparison! I made a batch for the freezer anyway but they may be going free to a good home I fear.

Speaking of the freezer, make it your friend. Shove a back-up dinner or two in there, some lunch box fillers etc.. for days when you’re stretched – or just can’t be bothered. Future you will be very grateful. And on the days when it’s something from good old Captain Birds Eye, that’s fine too. I’m quite partial to fishfingers every now and then myself.

Right so as well as making peace over the lunchboxes I’ve also had to make peace with the fact that I’m the only adult in the house who reads WhatsApp messages properly, if at all. Personally I didn’t know it was an option, but there you go. Don’t fight the fact that you’ll be one to remember: dress-up days, days off, donation days, half days, no-uniform days, school tour days, days where they have to bring in €2, days when they’ll need €5; days when they need €3, days when they’ll need forms signed … you get the picture. Oh and bin days, you have to remember them too. The mental load is real.

This one is important: get a calendar or some sort of system so everyone knows what’s happening. It will help you sleep at night. I find an old fashioned white board on the fridge works just grand. Depending on the age of your child/children there’s no harm in biting your tongue and not reminding them of every last thing either – if they forget something once, it’s likely they won’t forget it the next time. Here’s hoping.

After school activities is a tricky one and it can be hard to find that sweet spot between enough and too many. The general rule of thumb is that if you need a helicopter to get between activities on time you’ve signed up to too many. We all like to give our kids choices and opportunities but as grown-ups we need to know where to draw the line and quite often kids want us to say ‘no’ anyway. And it helps of course if you can double up on things and get more than one kid in the same class, and car pool where you can.

Remember though that comparison is the thief of joy so if you’re child doesn’t want to do the same activities as others, that’s totally fine. I was a terror for saying I’d join stuff and then balking at the last minute. Broke my mum’s heart and look at me now? I turned out fine. Well, fine-ish!

Also, be prepared for some ‘big’ emotions the first week or two as younger kids especially readjust to schedules and routines again. Parents are usually at the receiving end of the worst behaviour so … buckle up, and don’t take it personally. Remember too that nearly everyone has a story. Before you start complaining about the morning rush out the door, or something else banal, remember the other person could long to have the same complaints. A little pause before you speak is always a good idea.

Some other general tips:

• Under no circumstances allow anyone put on the school jumper before eating cereal or brushing the teeth. The inevitable will always happen.

• Have a hair brush and hair ties in the car for days when every minute counts.

• Have a stash of emergency €1 coins and €5 notes in the car too (see the above) – try not to use them for bottles of wine or chocolate for yourself. If you do, remember to replenish supplies.

• Buy a packet of generic birthday cards and even some generic gifts for class parties.

• Stock up on Calpol and nit deterrent because as sure as night follows day the sniffles and those buggers will be back with a bang this month.

• If you need fuel for the car, don’t leave it until you’re on route to school. The schedule never allows it, it doesn’t matter how much extra time you give yourself.

Finally, let’s remind ourselves that fun doesn’t have to end now that school is back. Well not all fun. That’s important because – and I really don’t want to sound like a dose –  it’s mental how fast the time goes. The first few school years are relatively slow, then time takes off like a runaway train, and that’s life, so let’s try not to sweat the small stuff too much.

Oh, and no it’s not too early to start planning the Halloween costumes – comes around faster than you think.