WOMAN ON THE VERGE: Barking cough is driving me barking!

This week has been mainly about leaf blowing, nose blowing and a mind-blowing lack of sleep ....

  I’d love to say the reason was a mid-term of debauchery and madness but unfortunately no, it’s all down to a barking cough, and a barking dog. As is the case in lots of households at this time of the year, ours included, the dreaded cough and the ‘one minute blocked, one minute runny’ nose has descended on the youngest family member, and is making its presence felt in a big way. Usually in the dead of the night. The cold, dark dead of the night.

Parents and guardians of young children will know the drill: you wake up with a start to the sound of the barking cough, you start silently praying that it’s just a little throat tickle even though it resembles the black plague, and that silence will return momentarily but no ... it goes on, and on and on. Obviously it’s worse for the person actually coughing ... or is it? There’s something about the sound of a coughing child (not just my own) that unsettles me in a big way, and I can safely say that after the past few nights, my every last nerve is gone ... disappeared some place, destination unknown, possibly never to return.

• Now, if that wasn’t enough to deal with in the wee small hours, the dog has also gone a bit funny (in a peculiar, and not ‘ha ha’ way). She’s in her twilight years and I think the poor thing has started to mix up day and night in the same way a baby does. She sleeps all day and basically roams the house all night. Most nights I’ll wake to see her staring up at me in the bed, which if it wasn’t 4am, would be pretty cute. I’ve never a clue how long she’s been there, either, the poor soul, but it’s her way of asking to go out. Her other way of conveying that message quite clearly is to start barking uncontrollably and very loudly by the door. So between that and the coughing I’m a bit flat. I’m consoling myself, though, with the fact that at least we haven’t got nits. Yet. Seems like they’re doing the rounds in a big way (you’re scratching right now aren’t you? Sorry!) so let’s all do our bit to keep them from the door (and the classroom) and have that peep once a week.

• The Christmas ads have started on TV. I’m disappointed but not surprised. Obviously I know that businesses need to sell stuff but I just wish we all realised that we don’t actually need that much stuff to start with. My only nod to Christmas so far has been the pretty epic task of defrosting the chest freezer I share with my mum next door, in preparation for the festive baking that’s about to get underway (any time now soon ... probably not this week though). It’s always a very satisfying job, even if I feel sorry for all the loose peas and corn kernels floating about at the bottom that never quite made it to the dinner table. That was their only purpose in life and they were robbed of it. That’s got to be tough.

• So, too, is keeping on top of all the falling leaves at this time of the year. I brushed at least eight wheelbarrow loads from the driveway the other day and I was delighted with myself, only to wake to as many, if not more, the next morning. I was secretly thrilled, though, as brushing leaves is one of my favourite things to do. (Giving a nod to Colm Tobin on page 10 this week, I’m available – for a small fee!) It’s right up there with weeding on my list of things I enjoy. My lovely nan was never too far from a sweeping brush or a trowel so I think it’s embedded in my DNA. A bit like clearing out the freezer, leaf brushing is immensely satisfying, and makes you feel both physically and mentally better. I arrived back indoors after a good hour on the job last week, all ruddy faced and slightly out of breath from the exertion and my husband looked at me like I was mad, and reminded me that we had a leaf blower that would make the task far easier. I had actually forgotten about that gizmo entirely (even though I was the one who had bought it) ... but sure that would take all the good out of it.

• I said last week I was easing off on Netflix for November so naturally I’ve had to switch to Now TV where I watched The Staircase starring Colin Firth and Toni Collette. It’s an eight-parter and it’s pretty good, just that it’s about five episodes too long, if you get me.

Anyway why I’m talking about it is that it also stars French actor Juliette Binoche who looks stunning with entirely grey hair.

Actors Emma Thompson, Andi MacDowell, and Helen Mirren have also transitioned to grey and look fabulous and I have to say that a part of me is very tempted to go for it myself. My greys are relentless and staying ahead of them is a full-time job, and one that’s quite expensive. It’s a big decision to take as a lot of the symbolism of youth revolves around our hair. Just look at presenter Daithí Ó Sé who has spoken out about his recent hair transplant saying that getting thin on top had really bothered him over the past few years. He even said that getting the transplant was the best decision he ever made. No holding back there then. Over the years I’ve been a red head (don’t ask), various shades of blonde, orange (blonde gone wrong), and brown and to be honest I’m not quite entirely sure what my natural colour actually is anymore. I think it’s a decision I’ll park until January – too many grey areas to consider for now!

Colin Firth at the premiere of The Staircase in New York. The series has captured
Emma’s attention.