Life

Glued to Gwyneth and her courtroom drama

April 4th, 2023 3:30 PM

By Emma Connolly

I’m enjoying seeing Gwyneth star in her own courtroom drama.

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Not that I haven’t got plenty to be doing, but I’m after getting properly engrossed in Gwyneth Paltrow’s skiing collision trial and have to keep reminding myself that it’s actually real life ... just not as I know it!

• IF you don’t watch the HBO family drama series Succession … what’s wrong with you? The fourth series has just hit small screens and it’s consuming me, even if I haven’t watched so much as a second of it yet. Writers have flagged that after these 10 new episodes that is it, they are done, there’ll be no more antics with the Roy family and cousin Greg. The end is near and it’s hitting me hard, so much so that I’ve decided I’m going to save the series for a time I can be completely present and really enjoy every last minute. Optimum viewing conditions would be when I’m home alone (ideally the dog will be somewhere else too), it will be a time when I’ll have the freedom to watch two episodes on the trot if I so desire (there’s too much angst to go for three in a single sitting) and preferably WhatsApp will have self-combusted and I won’t be trying to conduct multiple conversations at the same time. To be honest, I’m not seeing a window of opportunity like this until September at the very earliest, but sure it will be something to look forward to after the summer. 

• I’m actually a terror for saving things. I remember growing up we were allowed a treat on Saturday nights – a can of 7Up and a bag of crisps, to be enjoyed while watching Dallas. Don’t get all judgey on me now please, that was perfectly acceptable parenting in the 80s and yes of course my mother put a cushion over the TV when things got steamy with JR as they tended to do. Anyway, my trick was to wait until my siblings had gobbled all their goodies, and I’d produce my stash from behind the couch and taunt them by slowly nibbling and sipping in front of them. Now that I think about it, it seems a bit petty and spiteful on my behalf but I’m sure it can all be put down to me being a middle child. 

• Nowadays, I mainly save things like candles (and horse into the crisps!). I shared a house with some girls going back a good few years and I remember coming home from work one evening and being hit with a nasty smell of fried sausages, as well as an expensive mix of lime, basil and mandarin. Surely not, I thought! Who would dare! Who would have the audacity! But when I entered the kitchen my worst fears were realised as I spied my precious Jo Malone candle ablaze on the windowsill. My housemate told me it was to get rid of the smell of cooking but surely everyone knows that you don’t actually light Jo Malone candles, that they’re purely for show, right? That can’t just be me? Or at the very least you don’t light them to get rid of the smell of sausages! Anyway she knew after that, even if our friendship never quite recovered. I’m all for living life to the full, seizing the day, carpe diem, eating the cake (or the frog) and what have you … just not lighting the good candles. Ever.

• On the same topic, I have two very separate towel collections: they’re the ones that date back to the 90s that would be best described as less than fluffy; and then there’s the lovely, soft and fluffy ones. For around 360 days of the year we all make do with the 20-plus year-old towels that are not all that pleasant to use, and for the handful of days we have visitors we luxuriate in the good ones. Let’s just say that if anyone gets mixed up with that system (my husband), I’m not too happy. What can I say? That’s how we roll around here!

• Anyway, I had an appointment not far from UCC last week and as I was crawling along in traffic shortly after noon I spotted a group of girls all dressed up to the nines, and looking fabulous, if slightly inappropriate for the time of the day. I couldn’t help but make a few observations that all confirmed one thing: I was a boring, middle aged person who is zero fun. The main thing I noticed was that there wasn’t a coat or an umbrella between them despite the fact that there were torrential showers every other minute that day. Why didn’t they check the forecast before they went out, I wondered? They also had sky-high heels and teeny tiny handbags so they couldn’t have packed their emergency flats for later on. Risky! And finally they may have gone a bit heavy on the fake tan, but that’s a matter of taste I suppose. I was online later and twigged they must have been off to the students day at Cork Racecourse in Mallow. God, I really hope they didn’t catch a chill, it got very cold that evening!

• I’m totally invested right now in the case against Hollywood star Gwyneth Paltrow who is being sued for a ski accident in Utah in 2016. A guy called Terry Sanderson is taking the case against her and claims he was left with several broken ribs and a severe concussion, as well as mental and physical injuries after she ‘slammed’ into him on the slopes. Gwyneth claims he collided with her … and caused her to miss half a day’s skiing which seemed, well, like something she might have let slide, given the circumstances. Watching her give evidence it’s hard to remember this is real life, and not just her in her latest role. The trial continues and seeing as I can’t get stuck into Succession just yet, this is proving to be a very engrossing second best. 

• Finally, the change in time is, as I predicted, playing havoc with me. I’m absolutely wrecked. Also, can someone please come and tell me what I wore this time last year when the weather started to get a bit warmer? This concept of a ‘transition wardrobe’ is all a bit of a mystery to me, just like the notion of ‘day to night’ dressing. What do you wear when it’s a bit cold, a bit roasting, a bit wet and maybe a bit breezy? Not what the girls wore going racing anyway! 

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