All ‘set’ with my gigantic new telly box

Forget your roses or chocolates – I got a new monster TV as a Valentine’s gift and I couldn’t have been happier!

• LET’S be honest, and stop kidding ourselves for once … size really does matter, doesn’t it? I’m talking TVs here. My husband came home the other day declaring he had a Valentine’s gift for myself and the six-year-old. Now, I’m always a bit suss when it comes to joint gifts – especially when it’s something that an under 10 and an over 40-year-old would enjoy. But when he rounded the corner (or, more specifically, got stuck in the door) with an enormous box that was evidently a new TV, it was clear he had chosen a crowd pleaser – the crowd went wild! Our old TV was like myself … it had a tendency to sometimes be a bit difficult. It was grand once you got it going, but to actually get to that stage (functioning), took lots of coaxing, cajoling, lots of turning on and off again, sometimes even the odd prayer, or tirade of abuse thrown at it. It was all getting a bit tiresome and it was only a matter of time before it gave up the ghost completely. So, after many years of loyal service it’s been turfed out to the garage and replaced with a 50-inch set that seems so huge it should nearly need planning permission. I nearly jump out of my skin every time I see it looming large in the corner of the room, and I’m certain it wouldn’t meet with Dermot Bannon’s approval (at least it’s not over the fireplace I suppose). But on the plus side … it’s pretty flipping fantastic! The sound is incredible (the damage to my hearing isn’t permanent I’d say), I don’t have to wear my glasses and well yeah, it’s fantastic! Who said romance is dead? Sometimes I find myself just sitting looking at it, without even turning it on. I’ve never been happier … so long as I get to keep the remote!

• Anyway, I was doing the grocery shopping the other day and looking around the shop was the oddest experience. There was obviously lots of Valentine’s paraphernalia, heart shaped this and that at every turn, chocolates and the like (I’ve refrained from saying ‘tat’). There was also an insane amount of pancake displays going on – batters of various descriptions, toppings, pancake pans, ladles etc. I obviously didn’t get the memo that Shrove Tuesday (February 21^st) had become such a big deal. And begorrah, there was also a fairly prominent St Patrick’s Day section taking shape – green clothing, those plastic headbanger yokes, badges etc and also some Easter bunnies and eggs popping up in random aisles. It was all a bit bonkers – being bombarded with so many marketing messages at the one time. I’m happy to say I stayed strong and stuck to my list, only straying for some hot cross buns (which were a disappointment – I suppose the seven-day sell by date should have been an indicator).

• I suppose it was less the displays that threw me, but more how they reminded me how the weeks are slipping by at a fierce rate. It honestly feels like I only took down the Christmas decorations the other day, I haven’t even decided what my resolutions for 2023 are yet and we’re already talking about St Patrick’s Day by which time a quarter of the year will be gone. That’s just mad Ted, isn’t it?

• I’ve been enjoying some annual leave from work and it’s been really, really nice. I decided I wouldn’t do what I usually do when I take time off which is to set myself completely unrealistic and impossible-to-meet expectations like redecorate the house, reorganise my life, reconnect with everyone I’ve ever met, start a keto diet and maybe learn a new language. Instead I’ve been mainly pottering around, doing all the stuff that I’d do anyway when I’m working, like the dinner, the household chores, exercise (well just my ankle exercises) and now I’m not sure I actually have time to work! I’m joking, but I do think it’s funny how you expand to fit the time you have … if that makes sense? I did attempt to do something ‘extra’ for myself (not ice skating … we’re not quite at the stage where it’s funny yet, nearly though). I got a lovely Christmas gift of a spa voucher so I rang up one morning to make an appointment for my sister and myself, we decided we were worth it and all the rest. I must have sounded very eager (I was), and the girl on reception apologetically broke the news to me that they were booked out – for the entire month! Seems like the rest of you are well into your wellness. Cheers for the heads up! Another memo I missed. I improvised and threw on one of those sheet face masks and soaked the ankle in a basin of ice and it was more or less the same thing. 

• One thing that I actually love about the fact that it’s spring is that we’re now well into calving season. Obviously I’m not the one who has to check on the maternity ward during the night, or deal with any of the finer details which means I’m coming at this with more rose- (and less scour) tinted glasses but there are few things that gladden my heart more than the sound of little calves. They have a very distinctive tone to their little moos, and it’s super cute (again, just so long as there’s no scour in the situation). You will always feel better after a little rub of a sookie, I guarantee you that. On the same theme, it’s also great to hear that soothing and familiar hum of the milking parlour cranking up again after the winter. Again, I feel I should clarify that I never need to actually set foot in the parlour, and wouldn’t really know my way around one, which possibly colours my enthusiasm a little bit, but even with the threat of another cold snap, it’s a sign of brighter days ahead. And in the meantime, I’ve my (giant) telly box to amuse me!