WOMAN ON THE VERGE: In a sweat over ‘Indian summer’ talk!

The usual chatter of September sunshine is doing the rounds and I’m allergic. It’s great for the thousands attending Electric Picnic, but not so much for people like me who can’t wait for sweater weather to arrive

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• HEAR that? Exactly ... silence. And isn’t it just grand? The novelty of no one asking ‘so, what are we doing today?’ (Back at school my dears!) is off the charts this week. So, too, is the novelty of fantasising how my September is going to pan out. I’m thinking long walks (sorry, not even the dog is welcome to intrude on my solitude), uninterrupted coffees with pals, maybe even a sneaky daytime nap. Yeah, so chance would be a fine thing. The reality is that this month will mainly be about ‘Tackling Things.’ I took my foot off the pedal in a big way these past few weeks, and as lovely as it was, I’m now paying the price. I’ve little piles of things all over the place to tackle – piles of unread newspapers (except this one of course), piles of paperwork that need to be actioned and basically, piles of random s***e that need to sorted, binned or put away. Oh, or fixed. Yes, lots of things need fixing. Not to mention, of course, my slightly out of control inbox (if it’s urgent, perhaps you might email me again?). Anyway, it will all get done now that there’s a clear run at things – so time to get tackling.

• The first thing that needs to be tackled is myself. I know lots of people are fans of the 80:20 regime, where you’re mindful about what you eat 80% of the time, and indulge a little for the other 20%. If anyone’s at all curious, I trialled my own unique take on that, and flipped it around – I was mindful for around 20% (sometimes that dipped to 15%), and went mad altogether for the other 80% of the week. My findings, while not scientific, would suggest the first option is a better all-round approach for health and well-being. I’ve some ground to make up so that’s priority number one. I’m back on the porridge and green tea. Mainly.

• I was vaguely considering turning the garage into a home gym until I went in there the other day with my measuring tape and was met with an unidentified and most unpleasant stench which, if I had to describe, would say was most likely dog diarrhoea. Old, not yet located, but nonetheless still very distinct and pungent, dog diarrhoea. I’ve put the gym idea on the back burner for now, and turned my attention instead to the poor dog, and I’m working up the courage to tackle a garage clean-out. The list goes on.

• Anyway, what’s with all the talk of an Indian summer? My heart sank when I heard the murmurings, I’ll admit, even if it’s just someone flying a kite, as tends to be the case at this time every year. I know it wasn’t a brilliant summer, but I’m more than ready for temperatures to start cooling down. I’ve had it with the humidity, the mugginess, the flies ... did I mention the humidity? I’m a fan of autumn, but I’m a really huge fan of winter, the colder and darker the better. I was born on a bleak January day, so perhaps that’s got something to do with my love of harsh weather conditions. I think I was the happiest I’ve been in years when the Beast from the East hit in 2018. My eyes are lighting up just thinking about it. It was pure bliss. I honestly didn’t even mind that we ran out of bread, and sure it was a great way to use up all those odd tins of soup lurking around the back of the press. Ideally I’d love to live in some place like Alaska where you’re unreachable for large parts of the year, and you have to get supplies delivered by outriders and only venture outside to cut firewood or scare off a stray wolf or a coyote. Instead, of late, what I’ve been mainly researching are aircon units and ceiling fans. What’s the Donegal postman saying? Honestly, is it ever going to be sweater weather again?

• Changing tack, I’m wondering if I would enjoy Electric Picnic? Or would I be better suited to the All-Ireland ploughing championships? I’ve not been to either but seeing as the weather isn’t playing ball (and I can’t pull the curtains and light the fire), I feel obliged to squeeze the last bit of fun out of the summer, and venture to Stradbally or Ratheniska. Truthfully, I’m leaning towards the ploughing match – and that’s just as well as a quick search has revealed to me that EP is sold out!

• So did we all see that Tubs has started broadcasting again, even if it’s just on his Instagram for now? On the day of the Leaving Cert results, he wished all the students well and reminded them that if they had perspective and family support they were already on to a good thing. Sound advice. Reading between the lines (possibly seeing something that’s not even there), he could be saying that it’s taken the RTÉ saga for him to realise that. Either way, it was good to see him re-emerging into the public domain.

• Finally, this is a big week for lots of households: youngsters starting school, others making that pretty enormous transition to secondary school where they have to navigate new friendships, different peer groups and all that comes with it. Meanwhile, adults are doing what they can to support all of that, while some are wishing they had the opportunity to give it a shot. Others are advocating for school places for their children, while parents who have lost children will be facing their own personal memories when it comes to back-to-school time. There are big emotions whirling around, so let’s all take a minute to think before we speak (and know when it’s best to say nothing), be kind, be compassionate, be inclusive and bring everyone alone with you as best you can. And to our teachers, we’re sorry for allowing our children go half feral over the holidays. All we can say is that we hope you have stocked up on your Weetabix!