DIARY OF A DEMENTED HOME WORKER It’s Week 55, the kids are off school for a fortnight and I’m wondering if there’s any way I could swing a hotel quarantine – alone
• AND just like that it’s Easter already. Might I respectfully suggest that a week off school might have been enough for us all given that there’s not a whole lot to do? But I suppose we can indulge in chocolate for breakfast to sweeten things up a bit so at least that. Just me though, or is it hard to believe that we’re in April? I’m still fine tuning my New Year’s resolutions for goodness sake! It’s like we’re waiting in the blocks for the year to start, but it’s slipping away on us at the same time.
• Anyway, I did have the excitement of two legit spins outside my 5km this week. The first was to an appointment in Cork where the temptation to get on the open road and strike for Dublin was very strong indeed. I just about resisted. Then the next day, it was over to Skibbereen for my sister’s vaccination so that was a celebratory one – once we finally got there. I had to fill up the car for the first time in ages and made seriously hard work of it. I genuinely couldn’t remember what side the cap was on, so there was lots of manoeuvring, reversing and apologetic hand saluting. It was a bit like having my own Suez Canal moment. (Side note: if you think you’re having a tough day, think of the guy/girl behind that wheel. Although I’m a bit miffed that it means the new arrival date for my alpaca slippers is now mid-May.)
• It was my first time in down-town Skibbereen in over a year so I seized the chance and zipped into Star HQ to get a pair of earphones I’d left in my desk back in March 2020. They’re the ones for my phone. I actually don’t know why I hadn’t picked up a new set as I’ve really missed them. But sure why would you buy something useful when there’s a whole world of stuff out there to get that you don’t need at all? (this week’s example is a pair of gloves that are actually dusters. Genius don’t you think?). They’re a big novelty now anyway as it means I can listen to Instagram stories in the TV room without my husband looking at me like he may stab me at any moment. And I can finally listen to podcasts to relieve the tedium of the walks. Send me on some recommendations please, nothing too challenging (see my little filling station anecdote). I’d like something funny and sure if I end up in the ditch what about it.
• And what about the hotel quarantine break-aways? Don’t get it. What’s not to like about two weeks in a hotel room? All that time to catch up on naps, WhatsApp messages, ab exercises, exfoliation and Home & Away. Who do I give my bank details to? I actually tried to abscond from here the other day but was intercepted by the five-year-old as I scaled the front wall. Need to work on a better escape plan.
• Wasn’t the online response to Daffodil Day so overwhelmingly positive? In my own locality alone over €8,000 was raised (€6m in total with huge support from the Late Late. Unreal!). Lots of disposable income going in the right direction and really making a genuine difference. Well done to all involved.
• So last week I was fantasising about take-outs, this week I’m dreaming about the first night out post lockdown. I’ll have lost the Covid weight (also the the facial hair, any residual bloating and the general haggardness I’ve acquired). The evening will be something that masquerades as a civilised catch-up dinner with friends but will descend into something far more rauccous as all the tension and pent up stresses of the past year ooze out. There’ll be two bottles of wine too many and someone will share something they shouldn’t (hopefully not me). Bring it on!
• But in the meantime, like everyone else in the country, I’m making do with pimping the garden where fingers crossed we’ll soon be able to hang out with people we don’t live with. I’m seriously considering investing in the ultimate pandemic purchase – a hot tub. I never got one in the Celtic Tiger and I’ve always regretted it. See our Home & Garden supplement with this week’s paper for lots of other ideas.
• I have to admit that for the first time since the start of the pandemic, I’m feeling really deflated by the latest government announcements. My head gets it, but not my heart. Maybe it was naive of me but I was expecting even a little more freedom to come our way. I’m seriously contemplating taking up golf and dusting off my tennis racket – for the obvious reasons.