West Cork is a rare gift to have made my home. Culture and people are what enriches life here,’ according to 50-year-old American, Melissa Murphy, with a background in social work, and currently works as an end-of-life Doula.

BY MARYMcCARTHY

She grew up in upstate New York and made her home in Glengariff with her husband in 2016.

‘There is an abundance of creative communities living here,’ she said. ‘This has inspired me to be creative, not as a fine artist, but being open in this part of the world to hosting a death café, a space about end of life and grief. As an amateur photographer, I love taking photos of nature and the changing landscape.  We are so close to it. There is always something new – it looks different at different seasons. This helps the soul to remember beauty every day. It keeps the focus positive.’

‘Community spirit is undoubtedly the strength of West Cork,’ she added. ‘People look out for each other, especially neighbours. Genuine care is shown. There is an openness locally. It is where a lot of creative pursuits flourish. Businesses thrive including hospitality, mobile saunas, and workshops are available locally on a variety of skills and hobbies.’

‘It is the unique experience that makes it stand out,’ she said. ‘There is culture on our doorsteps. Last week, I attended Seanos at Connolly’s in Leap, an Indian food pop-up with Spice Genie at Levis Bar in Ballydehob and a film about the Holy Wells of West Cork with Amanda Clarke at Bantry Library.’

Melissa Murphy on a ferry in New York Harbour in 2011. ( Photo: Robert Murphy)

‘Outside of the village of Glengariff, was where we found our home, 4kms towards Kenmare. It is the gateway to the Beara peninsula - scenic and ancient. It overlooks the Caha Mountain Pass. This is not like anything we experienced before, being spacious - old woods, the sea and hills. This is where you step into nature before you see concrete,’ she said.

Melissa mentioned, ‘What I love about living here is that people say hello. They give eye contact. Seasons unfold. Time is slower. Food is important. I have been on the land where pigs and cows are reared. The producers are known, especially at the Farmer’s Markets.’

‘This place is the quietest I have ever been. I like the solitude, and I also like the community days out. I feel like hibernating in different seasons,’ she said.

‘In my twenties, I had a call as a young adult to leave America. That was my wish as a child, I dreamed of seeing the world and it never left me. I had a sense that I didn’t fit in with some of the traditions, cultural pride and the American dream. Those are the values that Americans holds dear.’

As I grew older, I began to question why it was said that America is the best country in the world. Who says that? Why do they say that?

‘In 2010, I met my husband at an Irish language class. I realised that we had a shared vision to leave America. We began travelling to Ireland. We both had Irish ancestry, and my husband had Irish citizenship. He had direct experience of Ireland, and an interest in history. I learned a lot from him, more than from my own family,’ she said.

‘In 2014, after getting married, we traveled to Ireland several times. But in 2016, we journeyed across the ocean to find our home in Ireland, where my maternal grandfather was born. I applied for citizenship. From January to March, we had an extensive stay in West Cork – Skibbereen, Glengariff, Schull. We wanted to see even in the darkness and quiet of winter what it would be like to live here. And before returning to the States, we looked for a home and made on offer, the day before St Patrick’s Day,’ she added.

‘We live here full-time but travel a lot,’ she said. ‘The advantage of travel is we get to experience other cultures, other ways of living, food, history and other people. By going to places, I feel connected to our shared humanity, even though we are different. And I learn.’

‘But the spaciousness and stillness and peace of West Cork and all things West Cork has to offer is what is unparalleled elsewhere,’ she continued.

Melissa remembered what really impressed her during the lockdowns was at the roadside checks, when the Gardai stopped people they asked, “How are you doing? For some, the pandemic was a highly stressful time, and she will never forget that kindness.

Melissa concluded: ‘I have been living here nine years. I have no idea what the future holds. But I will continue to live, work, travel. I will stay interested and learn. West Cork has a really balanced lifestyle. It has quietness and a place to reflect. It is where to slow down and have agency in my life. I feel a sense of unfolding – I don’t always know what’s coming next. It’s where we move slowly, age in seasons of life, find joy sitting in the garden, while watching a butterfly land.’