DIARY OF A DEMENTED HOME WORKER: New Year . . . but the same old me!

January 2nd, 2022 6:25 PM

By Emma Connolly

For 2022 I want SJP’s exact hair colour, and to spend less time on rubbish TV. That doesn’t include Dancing With the Stars!

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It’s week 95 and I’m nothing if not a cliché so for what it’s worth, here are my ‘old’ New Year Resolutions. And sure who knows, I might even try following them this year

• NEW Year’s Resolutions are a funny one aren’t they? They’re fraught with danger: make them and then break them, well that just makes you feel like a big loser (I can vouch for that); or don’t bother making them at all, yup, that’s also good for the loser vibes. Of course a third option is to make them and keep them, but I’ll admit that’s a completely alien concept to me, so I really can’t comment. In any case, my resolutions have been more or less the same for the past 20 years or so: lose weight (hah!), write a book (hah!), and improve my finances (hah hah!). To be fair I have lost weight, and put it on again, and lost it again, and then Christmas happens (every year), so look it, at least I try. I haven’t written a book but I check in here every week so that’s something right? Right? As for the finances bit … let’s make resolution number one for 2022, to keep buying those lottery tickets. Imagine.  Like, really imagine if it happened. And yes, of course I’d pay your mortgage. One instalment at least.

• What else am I thinking for 2022?  I’m thinking I’ll say ‘yes’ more often for the heck of it. Even if I don’t have the right outfit for whatever I’m saying ‘yes’ to (if it’s not leggings friendly I’m usually stumped); even if I’m wrecked (situation normal); or if I can’t afford it, I’ll try to muster up a resounding ‘yes’ and see where it takes me! After all it really is later than we think. I’ve a friend who, in our carefree days, thought nothing of visiting the credit union to finance a month in Bali. I used to think she was a little crazy, but do you know what, she had a blast and has the photos to prove it. Actually this is the year I’ll also book us some professional family photos – and get them framed. I’m on a roll now!

• Right, so I’m also going to say ‘no’ more this year. It’s a bit of a female ‘affliction’ to struggle with this little word. When presented with anything from a work project, to taking up a committee position, some of us gals tend to find it hard to get that little sound ‘N-O’ out. In our heads we’re freaking out, thinking that whatever is being suggested is really not going to work in any shape or form, but our mouths have already gone off on a solo run and are blurting out something along the lines of ‘sure thing; that’s absolutely not a problem. Rightio!’ So for 2022 it’s more yes, and more no. Confused? So am I and it’s only January.

• Getting more practical, for 2022 I’m also going to strive to be more prepared for both the unexpected, and the expected. That includes people’s birthdays that tend to happen on the same day every year. I am no longer going to be that person who sees a birthday notice on Facebook and posts a feeble ‘Best Wishes.’ I’m going to be the person who sees the date marked clearly in her diary (when I get one), a week in advance, and goes to her stash of carefully selected cards (another thing I’ll action in 2022), writes a thoughtful message and posts it off to arrive in plenty of time. The last step is crucial and often the stumbling block. Do not let said card languish around at the bottom of your bag for a week where it gets so filthy it has to be binned. I also intend to improve the items in my regifting press (not really a press, more like a bag, but still) to include things that don’t automatically scream ‘you mean nothing to me.’ That’s mainly because, over Christmas, I was given a box of chocolates that still had a tag on that said: ‘Happy Christmas XXX, love Mum.’ I’ll admit they stuck in the back of the throat a bit.

• On a similar note, I also want to be prepared for unexpected visitors. You know people who will randomly call and say they’re in the area, or more specifically that they’re four minutes away, and would love nothing more than to pop in, and that not to worry, it’s lunch time, and they haven’t eaten, but they definitely won’t have a thing. Yes, for those moments I intend to devote an emergency drawer in the freezer where I’ll have a stash of scones, a quiche and maybe an interesting bean stew so I won’t be caught out by anyone who is going plant based this year, which seems like just about everyone. Kitchen meltdowns averted.

• What else? In the words of Ronan Keating I’m going to try to remember that sometimes, ‘you say it best, when you say nothing at all.’ In other words silence is often the best response. I’m also going to scroll less, and stroll more. Probably be best if I ramped that up to a good trot after an indulgent Christmas. Less time spent watching rubbish on TV is another intention. I’m still trying to decide if Dancing With the Stars will be worth a whirl or not. I probably will have to tune in just for Grainne Seoige if I’m honest. The time suits me too, as I  also want to start going to bed earlier this year, and I’m going to self-impose a 10pm curfew. I think I’d be more able for all of the above if I did this. 

• Hats. I think I’m going to wear more hats this year. Ok fine, I’ll admit that I’ve been hopelessly influenced by SJP in the SATC reboot. C’mon, who hasn’t? I’d also consider it a good year if I could get my hair the same shade  as hers.

• Oh god yes, I’m no longer going to take my dish washer for granted. The appliance opted out and packed in, in my house on Dec 23rd (if I’d known there was an opt out option I’d have been tempted to do the same). I didn’t have the head space to organise a replacement until the other day and spent the Christmas getting reacquainted with the Marigolds and chiding anyone who dared to use a clean plate or glass for every meal.

• So that’s about it really, nothing too grandiose. No plans to take on the Camino (but I would like to take the cable car to Dursey Island. I’ve never been, imagine!), or do Dry January (I forgot to mention I’m going to show myself more compassion, so the two don’t sit that well together). I’ll probably just start the year off gently though, by putting the Christmas tree lights away properly. That’s always been a lofty ambition of mine.

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