The diary of a half-demented West Cork home-worker!

Emma Connolly shares some random yet hilarious thoughts on life deep inside a West Cork cocoon and reminds us all: it's a marathon, not a sprint!

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-  If the ship is going down, I hope that Simon Coveney is on board. I really feel had he been on Titanic there’d have been a better outcome. I would definitely prefer if George Lee wasn’t around, though. He’d drag the mood down too much.

- Most hand creams are rubbish. It’s a fact. Another fact is that I may never have actually washed my hands properly in my entire life up to now. Shameful but true.

- It’s hugely tempting to wear stretchy pants every day working from home. The descent to becoming a slob is fast and easy. Resist the urge. While wearing lipstick every morning is optional, wearing your bra shouldn’t be.

- You might piously chomp on celery sticks for your morning break in the office, or decline that second biscuit when they’re being passed around, but self control goes completely out the window when no one is around. Nachos for elevenses? Don’t mind if I do!

- You swing between thinking you’ll Marie Kondo the entire house to realising that tidying up is futile until normal life order is restored. A bit like shovelling snow before the storm is over. Interestingly, it doesn’t matter how long you spend at home, there are some jobs you’ll never tackle like the hot press or Tupperware drawer.

- Working from home is really hard work – when you’re not home alone and your new ‘co workers’ demand you feed them snacks and wipe their bums. It can cause the desire for wine to kick in earlier than normal, usually around lunchtime, but try to hold off until at least 4pm. But we are so grateful to have this option – many others aren’t so fortunate. We’re also beyond grateful to those who are providing vital services.

- Twenty jumping jacks and a huge glass of water can turn most situations around. It can make the difference between feeling like you can’t go on, to thinking you might start painting the house. Get your blood moving.

- But as lovely as Joe Wicks is I’m always going to let myself off the last five (at least) reps in his HIIT workouts. Come on, admit it, we all do.

- There’s an awful lot of crazy people out there. I may even have been one of them for a while and now have a pantry full of chickpeas to show for it. But why are people struggling to understand simple, three word sentences like: stay at home, no play dates and keep your distance? Mind blowing.

- Don’t pretend to be Mary Poppins if you aren’t. People are trying to outdo themselves with pictures of crafting and baking with kids at 8am. Word to the wise, don’t burn out too soon. Remember the heatwave of 2018 where we outdid ourselves with beach trips, BBQs, gourmet picnics etc and in the end all we craved was a rainy day? It’s a marathon, not a sprint. It’s also worth pointing out that we’re meant to paint and bake regularly with the kids, not just in times of a global pandemic. Oh, and under no circumstances allow glitter into your home.

- Have realistic expectations of what you’ll get done over the coming weeks. It will probably be less than you first predicted. I thought I’d write a book on mat leave – I barely got the ‘thank you’ cards done. Maybe I’ll just try and do a LinkedIn profile (or sort the hot press) during this stretch, no pressure though.

- If you have a pet, spend some time together. Now, don’t you feel calmer?

- Routine is a good thing. I may never complain about having to be out of the house by 7.38am at the very latest again. In fact I’m fantasising about it.

- But, on the flipside, lots of parents are saying that their kids are in far better form and more relaxed over the past week or so. Particularly the younger ones, my own included. Perhaps something to do with the fact that we’re not shouting at them that we need to be in the car by 7.38am? There might be something in that.

- Baby booms typically follow most major crises but this time around most women I’ve spoken to are predicting a spike in divorces!

- West Cork is a great place to be in when you’re social distancing. The fact that we’re lucky to live in such a super spot is more obvious to us now than ever.

- I miss my mum! But if my husband wants to self-isolate say, on the Mizen for a little while, I’d be ok with that!

- Blue skies are giving us life right now; so is the stretch in the evening and sure look it, at least we’ve still got power!