MY house has turned into a photography studio, turned alterations centre turned distribution line – yes, I’ve been bitten by the Vinted bug.

I mentioned in passing last week that I was giving the platform a go.

Typical me, I had previously decided it wasn’t my thing, based on absolutely nothing – I did the same with WhatsApp when it first came out.

Yes, morto for me too. But when friend after friend told me to give it a go I figured I had nothing to lose … and well not much to gain either as things sell so cheaply here but sure it’s giving me a bit of a buzz and keeping me busy. 

It’s also giving me motivation to sort out all our wardrobes and even the attic as I’m scouring for stock to sell.

You’ll find almost everything you can think of here but I’m focusing on clothes, and am having some beginner’s luck.

It’s surprising what sells – and what doesn’t, and it can be hard not to take things personally if there’s no bite  for example on a pair of jeans (that you’ve had in a charity shop bag in the boot of the car for six months).

It’s like: ‘What are you saying? That my tat is tattier than everyone else’s tat?’ 

I jest. While there is quite an amount of what I would consider tat here, there’s also some real treasures to be found and savvy shoppers are very quick off the mark.

For example, I decided to part ways with an LED mask I bought around two years ago.

It promised to reduce fine lines and improve skin elasticity and it might have had some chance if I actually wore the flipping thing but it spent most of the time forgotten about in a drawer.

I think I wore it around three times and one of those was to a Halloween party.

Not surprisingly Vinted has countless such masks for sale so I put mine up at a greatly discounted €80 and the offers flooded in. It was bonkers! It sold for the asking price (almost unheard of) in around 10 minutes flat. And now I’m tormenting myself that I let it go too cheaply. 

I also put up a basic Marks & Spencer’s black swimming togs for the princely sum of €5 and it’s got an awful lot of love. For a second-hand togs? Go figure.

I declined an offer of €4 which I hope I won’t regret.

An occasion-wear dress has also had a lot of looks… but not a single bite, despite the fact that it still has the tags on (that’s crucial), is just one season old and has been discounted by over €100.

It’s driving me crazy! I’m tempted to drop the price but I’ll hold my nerve as I can feel the vultures circling waiting for me to crack and swoop in. Not yet folks, not yet (but maybe next week). 

Your reviews are crucial on the platform. As I write, my stuff hasn’t yet reached its new owners so I’m still waiting on feedback … and living in fear.

One bad comment and you’re destroyed. You might as well pack up your Sellotape and scissors and retire.

My sister has glowing reviews. One buyer referenced how she had a ‘lovely sprig of lavender tucked into the package.’

Nice idea I thought, so I went to my garden, looked at my lavender but decided against it while making a mental note to look up ‘how to prevent your lavender going all woody.’

Some people put in little notes, but I feel that anything for less than €10 just gets the basic package –  time’s money and all the rest.

As margins are so tight tissue paper has taken on a new value and I’m on the hunt for sheets that don’t look like they’ve been around the block a few times.

I was also hoping I’d find some kind of tasteful sticker to elevate my package (give off boutique vibes) in my smallie’s playroom but could only see ones that said ‘Great Job!’ and ‘Awesome’ (from the rewards chart era).

I decided against it. I have to think of the reviews … how to people handle TripAdvisor! 

Speaking of my smallie, she had tonnes to sell as she’s growing  mad.

Like most youngsters she’s devoted to sportswear regardless of the occasion.

She’d happily wear a Cúl Camp jerseys and O’Neill shorts on repeat and I’ve made my peace with that and I can confirm there’s a big demand for sports gear.

Nike Pros are a go here. The only problem is she wants a cut of the proceeds. We’re in negotiations. Things are tense. 

Photographing the garments is also  harder than you might think.

There’s the ironing, and steaming of them; trying to find the best natural light, give them hanger appeal etc. It’s a lot. For €5!

Not to mind the constant trips to the post office which makes me feel extremely lucky I only live a minutes away from one with parking right outside the door and a Vinted savvy postmaster. Happy days! 

In other news if you’re looking for something to watch (besides the World Cup – just me or does it feel like it’s going on for years? Just me then), check out ‘Cape Fear’ on Apple TV.

Starring Amy Adams and Javier Bardem, the remake of the classic thriller is the best thing I’ve seen in ages - even if I can’t keep my eyes open for more than 10 minutes. It’s exhausting being a retailer!

Finally, the summer wind down is starting to hit  now and it’s lovely – when households go from being regimental and routinised to not waking until 8am and not having to be anywhere in a hurry.

This is one of my favourite weeks in the year with lots of birthdays to celebrate in the wider family which means cake and gatherings; I’m hoping the Agapanthus will surely finally bloom in this heat, and hopefully the Cúl Camp gear will arrive too!

I’m at that stage where I never want summer to end.

Give me another fortnight and I’ll be counting the weeks until September but for now it’s all  good … even if I should have sold the flipping togs for €4.