Roses are red, violets and blue, it’s only January, why the Valentine’s hullabuloo?

No sooner have the decorations been put back in the attic, and all of the Valentine’s Day displays are being set up in shops. Columnist Emma Connolly is not impressed ... but she’s also tempted by those chocolate hearts!

THE same way day follows night, I knew it was coming, so I’m not sure why it made me so annoyed, except for the fact that I’m very easily annoyed. I’m talking about all the Valentine’s displays we’re confronted with in shops and on TV, after we’ve barely the decorations put back in the attic. It’s so tedious and tacky ... but also so tempting! I bought a few glittery red chocolate hearts during the week to stash away for loved ones in a bid to be organised. Of course I’ve already eaten them so I’ll have to restock, but sure it’s all good for the local economy. If anyone is curious, I’d be more of a surprise- overnight-trip-to-Paris sort of girl than a chocolate heart one. Just for the heads up.

• The other thing very much front and centre this month is booking the summer holiday. Seems like most people have it already in the diary and the deposit paid. I really want to be that person but I struggle hugely with committing too far ahead. My husband has booked Bruce Springsteen tickets when he plays Cork in May and I’m already hedging my bets. ‘I’ll see what’s happening on the day,’ is the best I can offer him.

It’s the same for holidays. When it comes to clicking the ‘book here’ button on the flights or accommodation, I go straight into catastrophising mode. What if someone gets sick, I ask? Or worse again, if we’ve a removal to go to? What if that’s the week the painter we’ve been waiting six months to get is finally free to come? What if there’ll be a heatwave, or a baggage handling strike and my suitcase goes missing? There’s something wrong with me, right?

I’m in the minority, though, I’d say, as it seems like half the country is either on a ski slope or a sunbed this month enjoying their first holiday of the year. Out of curiosity I’d like to know where they work and if there are any vacancies?

• I did celebrate a big personal breakthrough this week: I finally found a flapjack recipe that my smallie likes, that doesn’t contain enough sugar to rot all her teeth (only some). Her lunchbox and its contents are a daily source of concern to me, mainly for aesthetic reasons. She’ll only eat bread and butter, apples and a liquid yogurt drink whose label I’m too afraid to scrutinise closely. Lots of days the apples and bread go to school purely for the outing, and return untouched.

On days I fear she may keel over for lack of energy I slather something in Nutella and pray her lovely teacher is too busy to notice. The reason it bothers me so much (besides her health and well-being) is that I have so much more in me to give! Mini quiches! Mini chickpea rolls! Spinach pancakes! Fritters! Falafel! But for now I’ll have to take the flapjacks as a step forward (and have the Nutella on standby just in case).

• What does it say about me that we’re a few weeks into the year and I don’t have a new diary yet? I’m writing notes and appointments on little scraps of paper (that of course I’ll lose) and trying to fit them in the tiny little spaces on the kitchen calendar instead. It’s no wonder I find it hard to sleep at night trying to remember who needs to be where and when. I must sort that before the week is out and get into gear.

• And what about all our young scientists? How impressive are they! When did everyone get so crazy clever is what I want to know though. I have a vague memory of a substitute teacher trying to set us up with some project involving the Bandon river. The rest of the details escape me probably as they went over my head entirely. We never even got as far as entering as I’d say we just lacked the brain power! Students these days are next level with their intelligence. What are they being fed (so I can put some in the lunch box)?

Joanna Lumley is part of an all-star cast in Fool Me Once on Netflix, which kept Emma Connolly watching, if not enjoying. (Photo: Shutterstock)

• This week, I watched Fool Me Once on Netflix and can say it was god-awful tripe but I watched all eight episodes (and yes I sort of felt like a loser). I also watched the film Good Grief starring and directed by Schitt’s Creek Dan Levy. My verdict: you’d need to be in the mood (even if I’m not too sure what that ‘mood’ is – mellow, and a bit sleepy maybe?), but the interiors are drool-worthy. Honestly the best thing I’ve seen on the small screen this past week was Graham Norton on The Late Late. He’s always such an energy booster. I love Graham.

• Dare I say it, but there’s a bit of a stretch in the evenings, isn’t there? And there are buds popping up all over the place too ... except in my garden. Despite having a Pinterest board dedicated to wildflower beds and other such elaborate planting schemes I never actually seem to get around to physically doing it. Next year, now please God! I don’t want to over exert myself, what with having to buy that diary and all. In the meantime, I’ll be taking joy from other people’s daffodils. My late lovely nan had a gorgeous garden which is still producing sweet-smelling narcissus and hyacinth which will be making an appearance soon which is real proof that we’re turning a corner.

• In the meantime we’ve got this big freeze this week, which being the big weirdo that I am, I absolutely love, and then there’s that bank holiday in a few weeks’ time to look forward to. There’s a lot to be grateful for.

• Finally, thanks for all the messages about poor Darcy. Seems there’s lots of fellow dog lovers out there and your kind words meant a lot. Here’s to those brighter days ahead.