Owl be seeing you: Driven to distraction by another marathon Toy Show and Robbie's choice of pants!

Columnist Emma Connolly has a word of praise for fantastic nursing staff before knuckling down for Patrick Kielty's first run out as host of the Late Late Toy Show. And don't get her started on Robbie's pants!

I'VE spent a bit of time ‘in Cork’ this week. It’s gas isn’t it, how most West Cork people refer to the city as ‘Cork’ as if we somehow lived some place separate?

Anyway, I digress. I mention it because my time in the ‘big smoke’ has reminded of two things: that I make very bad decisions in traffic and that I’m woeful at parking. I was well familiar with both of my failings, but it seems that living in my little rural cocoon has made me even worse at both.

When it comes to parking, I’ll pass any number of perfect spaces, and then bizarrely try to squeeze into some impossible spot and cause all sorts of commotion (usually for other motorists) in the process. As for my inner GPS, well it’s permanently off-line. If someone says to take a right, I’ll go left (it’s how I’m wired) and then things inevitably start to go downhill. Some people say if they won the lotto they’d hire a private chef, I’d hire a driver. I think a lot of people might agree that would be a good idea.

The reason I was in the city so much, is because my lovely mum is in hospital. She’s as tough as boots (not old ones, mind), just with a gorgeous, soft centre, and like always is being a proper trooper. Now, hospital isn’t where any of us want to be but making the stay more tolerable are the incredible nurses in the South Infirmary University Victoria Hospital (SIUVH). It’s not the flashiest hospital in the world but what it lacks in shininess is more than compensated by the kindness and compassion of its nursing staff. I know those traits are meant to come with the job title but it’s not always something I’d take for granted. As well as their professional skills, they make time for a bit of chat (even if they’re busy, and they’re always busy), an offer of tea and a gentle touch.

I’m not denying that the country’s health system is on its knees, but what I’m seeing has all been very reassuring. If I’m ever confined to a hospital bed I’d like it to be in the SIUVH.

Anyway, it’s Toy Show time again! That came around quickly didn’t it? As a kid I obviously adored the show, but as an adult I’ve mixed thoughts. Mainly: why does it have to last what seems like six hours, and why does it have to be on a Friday night when everyone is already kind of wrecked?

I’m thinking two hours on a Saturday afternoon would surely suit everyone better? Not to mind all the Toy Show paraphernalia out there. What’s that about?

Would people have a spark of sense as my dad used to say! Trust me, you don’t need new pyjamas that say ‘Toy Show’ or new mugs or new anything for the experience. If you’re a kid you’ll already be on a high due to the novelty of staying up so late, and if you’re a grown up all you’ll need is a nice (big) glass of something fruity which you may be enjoying on a Friday night anyway. Dish out the last of the trick or treating goodies to keep energy levels up (we’re going to need them), and you’re good to go. (If you’re reading this post-event: well done, we made it through another year).

It's obviously Patrick Kielty’s début, and I feel that he’s still playing second fiddle to Tubs, what with the former RTÉ presenter’s big announcement on his London move. Ryan’s gone nuts altogether on Instagram too! He hasn’t quite migrated to the territory of ‘Hi guys! I’m just popping on here to say hello...’ or showing us his outfit of the day, but it feels like he’s not far off it. Frankly, I miss old school Tubs, who used to post just the occasional picture of a tree or a book. New ‘cool’ Tubs is going to take some getting used to.

Emma Connolly has been tuning into the Robbie Williams documentary on Netflix.

I’ve been dipping in and out a bit of the Robbie Williams documentary on Netflix. It’s not bad, but obviously not a patch on the Beckham one (I’m still trying to get my husband to dance around the kitchen to ‘Islands in the Stream’ but he’s not having any of it. I’m not giving up yet though).

Anyway, the Robbie show would be an awful lot better if his current day interviews weren’t filmed while he was wearing these little black undies. Outside of the archival footage, for most of the other bits he’s either walking around in his little pants, or sitting cross legged on the bed in the little pants. An unusual choice and a bit distracting, particularly for those close-up shots. Once upon a time I was a big Robbie fan, and I saw him in concert in Dublin when we were both in our prime and it was sensational, so I’ve had a bit of a soft spot for him since. For that reason I’ll probably see the series through, but I do fear it may descend into a load of old ... pants (sorry).

Staying with the small screen, I’m also watching The Gilded Age on Now TV. I was encouraged to give it a go as it has an impressive cast: Christine Baranski (The Good Wife), Cynthia Nixon (Sex and the City), Morgan Spector (Homeland). It’s described as America’s Downton, and it’s nice escapism if you feel like something non-taxing and moderately entertaining. The second series has just landed too so it could be just the ticket to get you through hibernation season. What? Humans are designed to bunker down at this time of year. There’s science to back this up. And we should always have a large helping of bread and butter pudding and custard within reach too. Ok I made that last bit up. I haven’t tuned into ‘I’m a Celebrity ...’ yet, and I most likely won’t. Or I very well might, and devote the entire next few weeks to it. One or the other.

Finally, any sightings of any fe*****, sorry I meant festive, Elves on the Shelves yet? They normally arrive around now don’t they? One of the biggest mistakes in my life was letting one into our house (for the record it was my husband’s doing). Of course after you ‘host’ them once, that’s it, they’ll find you year after year. It’s in the small print. Stay strong if you haven’t already succumbed to this ‘tradition’. It’s way more tiresome than the Toy Show!