WOMAN ON THE VERGE: I need a slush(y) fund for holidays

You’d need to be printing money at this time of the year, wouldn’t you? Fear not, I’ve a few budget-friendly tips to get through the next few weeks. Be warned, they mightn’t go down well with the rest of the family… 

 • ‘SO what are we doing today then?’ That’s the new favourite question around ours these days at the breakfast table. I’m bracing myself for it these days as I chug back the coffee and mentally wonder what the reaction might be if I were to say something like ‘Eh, how about we all try doing our own thing and meet up later on tonight to compare notes?’ I’m joking but jeepers, trying to readjust to small people’s (even my own) expectations of how the summer holidays might work with real life can be just a teensy bit tricky. I was having a moan about it to my therapist (aka my mother) the other day, who reminded me that this was nothing new. She told me that she didn’t find all that much joy in going to the beach every other day either over the holidays, it’s just that she was better at hiding her feelings. Oh right. That one totally passed me by I have to admit. Fair play.

• The other thing of course is that at this time of the year you’d literally want to be printing it – money that is. It’s bonkers how easy it is to spend money, and how hard it is to make it. Well I suppose that depends on what you do for a living or where you work (no, that wasn’t a dig at RTÉ, why would you think that?). Every time you leave the house it’s like you’re relieved of another chunk of life savings and retirement starts to look a bit tougher. But instead of just complaining about it (which I quite enjoy), I’m getting savvy. I’ve pulled out the flask usually reserved for All-Ireland days (and which hasn’t been used in years), sterilised it (and sterilised it again … I think some renegade may have used it for soup last time ‘round). The tipping point was a black coffee I had in a non-exclusive premises in an unnamed West Cork town last week that cost me €3.40 and which tasted like bog water. Do I need to get out more or is that a bit cheeky?

The flask usually reserved for All-Ireland days has been cleaned out and is providing the Connolly caffeine kicks.(Photo: Shutterstock)

• Anyway, try as I might, I couldn’t drink it and it still left a bad taste in my mouth. So the flask is out along with the Tupperware boxes for the snacks. Not the ‘fancy’ snacks that cost a fortune, either. I’m talking about sandwiches (basic sliced pan), fruit (the variety you cut yourself and with the berries rationed), and a packet of Tayto. Once you get organised (and the withdrawal symptoms for the sourdough and beetroot hummus start to abate), this approach is actually quite liberating, and it’s not like we’re short of picturesque places to pull in and serve up. For special occasions you could stretch to a bag of chips, because absolutely nothing tastes better than a bag of chips eaten sitting on a random wall. And sure even the weather is playing ball nicely now. It’s a win-win.

• Hang on, though, I’m not finished with the rant yet. Ice creams are another rant, aren’t they? I’ll admit that my method of parenting relies a lot on the power of an ice cream. As in ‘if you do x, y or z we might get an ice cream later on,’ or ‘if you leave the beach/playground right now, we’ll get an ice cream on the way home’ (the last one is usually said in a very shrill voice). It’s not a method I’ve seen any so-called experts recommend but it works pretty well for me so long as I’m prepared to shell out a nice sum on said treat that will invariably melt or fall on the footpath or all over the car within seconds. But no more. I dug out the ice pop moulds I bought one summer when I was feeling more optimistic about life and which have never been used, looked up some recipes online and gave it my best shot (or at least the blender did). Yeah. They went down like a lead balloon with the seven-year-old, and to be fair, I tried them myself and they were, let’s just say, dramatically different to what you’d get in the shop. I think we’ll have to set up some sort of slush(y) fund to keep the ice creams.

• It’s all swings and roundabouts really, isn’t it? Speaking of which, the new playground in Bandon is an insanely good facility. I’ve made no secret of my aversion to playgrounds, which comes mainly from my fear of someone falling or getting injured (I’m known as the minister for health and safety in my family because I see danger everywhere), but even I managed to throw caution to the wind on a recent visit to Bandon, and I’m determined to master the monkey bars by the end of the summer. It’s a super job and well done to all involved. Best of all, it’s free fun!

• We’ve just had an epic week of birthdays – my husband, sister, and two nephews have birthdays on four consecutive days. Yes it’s a bit inconvenient on the bank balance but it’s also one of my favourite times of the year when we get to celebrate some of my favourite people and eat lots of cake. It’s also a nice reminder that the best things in life are free – family, fun, and good health. Let’s all raise our shop-bought ice pops in a toast to that!