EDITOR – I can honestly say that my anxiety is still pretty heightened, and may take a little time for a healthy self-regulation to be restored.
However, my reason for writing this is because I feel we as women and men need to be aware of what is going on around us and be here for each other.
Never underestimate the power of a smile and a hello.
I called to my local gardaí some time ago, and spoke of my huge fear and anxiety in my own home and my surroundings due to being on the receiving end of false accusations, anger, intimidation, a lack of listening to my need for space, lack of listening to the fact I had finally ended a very unhealthy relationship, and feeling stalked in my own home by a man that I had been in a relationships with.
The confusing part was that these incidents were often followed by huge gestures of helping with heavier jobs that a man’s help can be so much appreciated for, alongside apologies and promises that were repeatedly broken.
What was seen by others on the outside possibly looked just perfect, yet once on our own this angry, hurt man lashed out so often with hurtful comments and accusations. Staying in something so physical, emotionally, and mentally hurtful and damaging is really not a wise thing to do.
The first step of asking for help can be so daunting. I spoke with my doctor, some months into the relationship, of the repeated unhealthy patterns particularly of false accusations as this was all having a huge impact on my physical health for a few months. She told me she was a little nervous in case this was an abusive relationship…sure I thought, what a crazy thing to say. He was just a man who was hurt in his past and I would continue giving him chances and care, and perhaps the hurt would heal over time. I spoke with a counsellor a couple of months later as the anger and false accusation were escalating, and there seemed to be an inability to take any level of responsibility for their outbursts, not just towards me but towards others in my company.
My counsellors naming and reframing of what I was feeling helped me to ask for further help from the gardaí and West Cork Beacon, to obtain a temporary, and then extended, safety/protection order. Going through the court process can be quite a daunting time, and the support of the West Cork Beacon, and the gardaí in West Cork have been absolutely amazing.
I guess we often fear that we will not be heard, or that we will not be believed, perhaps someone will say we are making something of nothin However, my instincts, my nervous system, and my physical health had been screaming at me for some time before I reached out. If you are a man and still reading this, thank you.
I have nothing against men. I have a father that I love, brothers and sons that I love. Please be aware of all around you and watch out for each other.
Please, if you are still reading this, fellow women of West Cork: do not feel you have to be alone with similar problems. Reach out to West Cork Beacon, speak in pure confidence, and ask where do you turn, what help can you get. I found their support so clear. Reach out to your local gardaí, your GP, and please take the support you need to find your way through.
Be not alone, especially when in difficulty.
Anonymous, West Cork
West Cork Beacon can be contacted on their freephone helpline at the following numbers: for female victims of domestic abuse, 1800 203 136, Monday to Friday, 9am to 4.30pm. There is also a freephone helpline for men or women affected by sexual violence, on 1800 832 001, from Monday to Wednesday 10am to 4pm. You can also email for support at [email protected]
A man-made starvation crisis in Gaza
EDITOR – There is a higher reaction from political leaders and politicians under pressure from their constituents to the Israeli government’s man-made starvation crisis in Gaza. France has now recognised a statehood of Palestine and British PM, Keir Starmer, said the UK will recognise it in September 2025, unless Israel call a ceasefire in the Israel-Hamas war and allow all food aid into Gaza.
UK Journalist Jeremy Bowen,on a Jordanian food drop flight to Gaza at the end of July, said Israel told them to block side windows. He was banned by Israel from filming the ruin of Gaza. He said Israel allows ‘symbolic’ food drops now to lessen the international pressure but it needs road convoys of food allowed in.
Videos by citizen journalists of the dying children in Gaza caused this international response. International media has not been allowed in since the war began. Israel’s PM, Netanyahu, says there is no starvation in Gaza.
In a recent large protest near No 10 Downing St, they hit pots and pans mirroring the image of Palestinians rushing to only four badly-run Israel-US Gaza Humanitarian Foundation food aid stations put in place there in May. The UN, vastly experienced in delivering aid, was banned by Israel from Gaza in March with Israel saying they had employed Hamas members, a charge which the UN denied.
Some of Israel’s government are on record for saying they want no food and water in to Gaza to force the population out.
I am not anti-Jewish or anti-Israel. Millions of people around the world hope for all aid to be let into Gaza for 2.2m people. The war has gone on too long. We hope Hamas will return to Israel the remaining 50 or more hostages who suffer too, with 20 or more of them believed to be dead. An enormous man-made disaster.
Mary Sullivan,
Cork.
A fresh approach is needed for football
EDITOR – The Cork GAA Senior Football Plan of 2019 was brought up recently at the county board meeting, and Kevin O’Donovan CEO admitted that most of the plans came to nothing, despite the best efforts of many people. At a meeting earlier on this year, they said they would welcome ideas to improve football standards, and to get the crowds back supporting our county football teams.
I think a fresh approach is needed. A new coach and management should be appointed. John Cleary and his management team have tried very hard to bring much-needed success, but it seems to elude them.
We will wind up in the same position next year unless radical change is made now. Cork is a large county with a lot of Junior and Intermediate clubs with promising young players and they should be given a trial or opportunity to show what they are capable of.
In the early part of the GAA season we should run a new knock-out towns’ cup between the towns in West Cork, Mid Cork, and North Cork, and draw players from the Junior and Intermediate clubs to back their local town team .
It would give them an opportunity to play football at a higher level, and Cork football would benefit. In the past, most of our best players came from West Cork, mid Cork and North Cork, and the football tradition is still strong in these areas.
Jeremiah McCarthy,
Clonakilty.
