Hoping that Boris will get well soon

ALTHOUGH we’ll be sending Boris Johnson a ‘Get Well Soon’ card, now that he’s discovered he’s one of the herd, it was Simon Coveney’s expressions of deep sympathy for the medical misfortunes of the man that grabbed our interest.

The Minister wrote in his Twitter account, that he was ‘wishing Boris well and hoping that his coronavirus symptoms would not worsen.’

He also added that everyone in Ireland (yes, everyone) would be praying for him. ‘He would be in all our prayers tonight,’ he kindly said.

Which, really, might be interpreted as somewhat linguistically extravagant or over the top,  if for no other reason than for the image it conjured-up of Coveney kneeling, candle spluttering beside him, dressed in his nightcap and nightshirt, hands clasped tightly, head bowed, eyes scrunched in deep concentration, as he began his nocturnal invocation for the speedy recovery of his amusing auld buddy, Boris.

It brought a tear to the collective eye of the Irish nation. And to which we say, what a generous, Christian gesture to include Boris in his prayers.

It was a holy,  spiritual, sublime and dare we say … angelic … gesture, as was St Simon’s assertion that the plain people of Ireland  would address a petition to the Supreme Being, or any another deity – one never is sure these days – for an immediate improvement in the physical well-being of the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom

Because, even though some might compare Minister Coveney’s reverent petition to that of a solicitor on the Mall initiating a lawsuit, or someone whose prayers were offered on an adding machine, it would be a gross misrepresentation of his spiritual sentiments to imply that he was not putting his heart and soul into the appeal.

Yet, when it comes to Boris, we can’t rid our mind of that old, unfunny Hal Roach crack:  ‘Do you pray for politicians? No, I look at the politicians and pray for the country’ (cue laughter).

‘Ah yeah! Cynical as usual!’ as our only reader in Ballydehob might observe.  To which we respond: ‘Yes, critical reader, you have a point. It’s not nice to poke fun at Mr Coveney on the basis that there are so many hypocrites in the world. But let’s face facts, there’s always room for more!’

Democratic deficit

The Social Democrats Party is a mosquito outfit consisting of six TDs who are terribly concerned at the ‘democratic deficit’ that this country currently suffers.  It’s a nifty journo term, ‘democratic deficit,’ and although its meaning is as clear as mud, it probably has something to do with springing into action at the first opportunity of providing bodies for a cobbled-together Fine Gael-Fianna Fáil rag-tag government.

After all, there’s no point being in politics if you’re not on the gravy train!

And yet, where is democracy if Sinn Féin, which won 37 seats and took 24.5% of the total vote is excluded from forming a government and treated as a pariah by the hypocritical stuffed-shirts in Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil?

Indeed, let’s remind ourselves that neither party is a paragon of political virtue and both base their motives for keeping SF out of government on corner-boy stimuli rather than political reason.

Vlad the Impaler described SF’s post-election rallies as a ‘campaign of intimidation’ – a slur for which he did not apologise – while the current Garda Commissioner, a former senior officer in the Six County police force, made an unprecedented foray into politics down here with his comment that he agreed with the assertion that the IRA oversees Sinn Féin.

At the same time, elements of the Indo/Sindo waged an unrelenting campaign to convince the punters that Armageddon – the last battle between good and evil – was around the corner if Sinn Féin were entrusted with the responsibility of exercising power.

Amazingly, prominent elements of our media find it difficult to swallow that fact that punters are not stupid and that it is deeply offensive to a person’s political judgement to declare SF unfit for power in the Republic while at the same time demand the republican party gets back into government with the DUP in the North.

The Guardian newspaper recently questioned the logic behind the position taken by the Irish government, the media, FF, FG and their hangers-on that SF is nothing more than something the cat dragged in and does not have the proper qualities for power when the DUP leader, Arlene Foster, whose father was shot by the IRA, is prepared to go into government with them.

Prohibition?

A brainy gent from Trinity College who lectures in public health has called for the closure of ‘off-licences’ for the duration of the coronavirus pandemic. He is of the opinion that they do not fit the definition of providing an ‘essential service’ and closing them would prevent excessive drinking during the Covid-19 crisis.

He says that limiting the supply of booze to heavy drinkers (of whom there are about 180,000 in the country!) would reduce the number of people suffering from liver failure.

‘Where that has been done,’ he told the meeja, ‘there’s been a reduction of the overall level of harm and the overall level of liver failure.’

Sounds ambitious for a country that wouldn’t exactly welcome Prohibition even without Al Capone. Prohibitionists, after all are the sort of people who make you want to cry into your beer even if there’s no beer available to cry into!

On the other hand, as Homer Simpson famously said: ‘Prohibition was a good thing. People were drinking more and having a lot more fun. Without beer, prohibition doesn’t work!”

Perhaps the prof might … er … hic … elucidate?

Return of the topic

Oh, and if the hoop-la regarding Sinn Féin leaves a sour taste in your mouth, wait until Deputy Mick Barry places his amendments to the Emergency Measures in the Public Interest Bill 2020.

The amendments seek to allow the online prescription of abortion pills and for them to be sent through the postal system. The Pro-Life Campaign describes the move as dangerous and an extreme extension to the existing abortion legislation.

Said spokesperson, Eilís Mulroy: ‘It is entirely obvious that anyone seeking to permit online prescription of abortion pills to women who may be well past the current 12-week limit has paid no attention to the potentially devastating harm this may cause to women and the unborn child.

‘We strongly urge all TDs to maintain their responsible and prudent approach to the emergency measures legislation and not to allow it to become the political football of medically reckless and ideologically aggressive amendments.’

Well said!