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DIARY OF A DEMENTED HOME WORKER: Time to kick complacency to touch

October 4th, 2020 6:25 PM

By Emma Connolly

The straight-talking and slightly scary Roy Keane might be what NPHET need to get the public to sit up and take notice.

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DIARY OF A DEMENTED HOME WORKER: It’s Week 29 and with numbers rising at a frightening rate,  I think there’s nothing for it at this stage but to call in the Boy Roy to get us to play ball

• IN one of my, by now, daily moments of bewilderment I was wondering if we wouldn’t just be better off bringing Christmas forward altogether? Like, you know the way D’Unbelievables have this skit where they have the dinner the night before to get a run at things? Couldn’t we do the same and bring December ‘celebrations’ forward to later this month and just get the box ticked? Cobble together a turkey and some sprouts, open a box of Roses and the job is done. New Year’s Eve celebrations in Dublin have already been called off by Fáilte Ireland, so sitting it out is clearly a risky business – we could be left with nothing. Safe to say, though, regardless of what happens, you’ll have a pretty watertight excuse not to host the in-laws this year.

• If I hear the word ‘complacency’ one more time, though, I think I might actually lose my marbles (more so than normal). I know Dr Ronan and his crew have to trot out something when they’re giving us their regular media briefings but I hope to God the complacency was knocked out of all of us, way, way back (like in July). I kind of presumed we were all up to speed on the fact that this isn’t the time for house parties? Am I being delusional? I think Dr Ronan needs to ditch the Mr Nice Guy approach and throw a wobbler, on national TV. Push over the table, take the glasses off, get up real close to the camera and let rip. Or if he won’t do it, get Roy Keane in to set the nation straight. ‘Complacent? I’ll give you complacent …’ kind of thing. I think I could be on to something there.

•And so the Leaving Cert drama rages on. Not wanting to sound smug or anything but I’ve never been so glad I did mine way back in the dark ages (who remembers the Metric?). I think if I was one of the 2020 cohort I’d be raiding my parents drinks cabinet (Baby Cham left over from the last stations) and heading for the nearest garden shed with my friends (while obviously complying with social distancing regulations). I thought it was tough being middle-aged. Not that easy being young either.

• It was a pretty good week in the office for Luke O’Neill who has gone from being a slightly nutty professor to a seriously wealthy one. His biotech company was bought in a landmark deal worth €389m. He’s one seriously clever guy and has reassured us that the cavalry is on its way in terms of Covid,  but that in the meantime we need to keep up to speed with hand washing, mask wearing and socially distancing. I think we all needed to hear that and it’s what we need to keep repeating to ourselves – that help is on its way. Even if we don’t know when.

• Meanwhile, mark November 6th in your diaries. That’s when Breaking Out, the award-winning feature film on the life of West Cork musician Fergus O’Farrell hits cinemas. I’ve had the privilege of seeing it already and it’s powerful stuff. Truly remarkable. Directed and written by Michael McCormack, he spent nearly 15 years on the project in total and it’s an incredible legacy into the life of Fergus, famed for his band Interference. If you can’t wait that long, it will also close this year’s Indie Cork film festival on October 11th in the Gate Cinema, Cork.

• In other non-Covid matters (yes please), I’m reading Caitlin Moran’s More Than a Woman at the moment and it’s packed with laugh-out-loud moments and really gas observations about ... being a woman. One in particular that had me deciding we definitely need to be friends is when she talks about how angry it makes her when someone puts the big overhead light on in the TV room in the evening (I mean why would you do that?); and how much time is spent taking lemon pips out of the dishwasher rotator arm. It’s funnier in context, trust me. If you need a laugh, pick it up.

• A real touch of Autumn has kicked, in hasn’t it? I love this time of year (if for no other reason than it signals the last of the summer flies) but it is a stark reminder of what’s ahead of us. I know we don’t live in Alaska, but an afternoon on a West Cork beach in December is a bit different to one in July. I don’t care how you dress it up, or how many layers you dress up in,  a whole winter  of ‘family outdoor fun’ sounds  like a bit of a dose to me. Soft play centres never seemed so attractive.

• I think ‘tedious’ is a word that best sums things up for us all right now. The plug can be pulled on everything from your working week, child minding arrangements, sporting fixtures, life in general, at any time if the text comes through to say you’ve been a contact of a suspected Covid case, if you’re waiting for a test, or if you have to self isolate. But remember that tedious is an awful lot better than tragic so less of the dramatics, and keep an eye out for the cavalry!

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