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‘Champagne’ Charlie a hard act to follow!
THANKS to the nags, ‘Champagne’ Charlie McCreevy's performance in Brussels was going to be a hard act to follow. Indeed, his preference for a skite at Cheltenham rather than a debate in Brussels bemused his EU colleagues so much that they presented him with a plastic toy horse in shocking pink!
With McCreevy's retirement as EU Commissioner, the race was on to find a successor to fill the cheeky chappie's shoes. The question that fascinated the chattering class was who would Biffo reward with the mega-buck sinecure.
Was it to be another party loyalist, a safe pair of hands who did time pushing the EU line, trumpeted the Lisbon Treaty throughout the land, never wavered in adoration of the leader, and whose nomination would not endanger the government's precarious majority in Dáil Eireann?
Someone like Mary Harney or Mary Coughlan, Noel Dempsey or the dumped MEP, Eoin Ryan? But, much as Biffo would have liked to hive off those political nincompoops, his priority was to ensure the nomination would not endanger the government. He did not want to release a sitting TD and trigger a by-election that Fianna Fail could not win in the present poisonous climate.
So, a point of view emerged that the Biff should exhibit his credentials as a European statesman (what a lark!) by going for a non-party-political person. By doing that, he'd demonstrate that the time-honoured practice of appointing commissioners on the basis of tribal connections had finally ended.
A GREAT UNKNOWN
The unknown Catherine Day was mentioned in dispatches. She heads the EU civil service, is hugely experienced and works closely with the EU President and former Maoist, Jose Manuel Barroso, a gent who stated he wanted more women in the Commission. She didn't get a look-in.
Then there was the elaborate campaign mounted by the hostile hangers-on, (generally media hacks), who made the play for their own chums. They touted characters like the PR mogul Pat Cox and Labour's Ruairi Quinn. Fine Gael wanted John Bruton to get the job. ‘Fat chance of any of that lot ever succeeding’ was the jaundiced comment from the man-in-the-street!
Bruton, now out of a job, even indulged in a bit of a populist breast thumping. He gave a homily in which he defended the relationship between the Christian churches and the EU. It was all to no avail. Biffo had made up his mind.
He picked Ms Máire Geoghegan-Quinn, the former Minister for Justice. That her name should have gushed to the political surface like a suddenly freed geyser was indeed a surprise. She'd been twelve years out of politics, tucked away in the European Court of Auditors – one of the cushiest numbers of all.
Yet, although enjoying the luxuries of EU life, she'd inhabited a placid backwater, a place devoid of a stepping-stone to greater things.
The result was that the first mention of her some weeks ago led to a contemptuous dismissal as yesterday's woman, too long absent from national politics, a non-runner. From the way the hacks presented their case, it seemed MGQ had vanished into Darkest Luxemburg, like Dr. Livingstone in the Congo.
TRIBAL POLITICS
But, of course, she hadn't. Biffo rediscovered his old cabinet crony and plumped for her even though several wannabees were chomping at the bit. It was a cunning stroke, ensuring there would be no disturbance of the tribal balance.
What's more, MGQ got him out of a fix in the sense that Fianna Fail would retain the EU Commissioner job; there would be no by-election and no risk of a public humiliation. She saved Biffo's bacon!
Interestingly, the lucky lady was not present last week for the publication of the Court of Auditors’ report. Instead, she was closeted in Dublin with the Biff who denied the suggestion that they were discussing her future.
This, in turn, led to the scurrilous accusation that she fled Brussels to avoid questions regarding the Auditors’ Court’s difficulty in giving the EU a clean financial bill of health. The role of the Auditors’ Court is to ensure that the EU budget is above board. It rarely is.
Corruption, malpractice and incompetence mark the way the EU divvies out largesse. According to the euro-skeptic group ‘Open Europe,’ national governments are handed a pot of money that has to be spent, regardless of whether there's a real need or demand for a certain type of project. As a result, “EU-funded projects easily become expensive solutions to invented problems.”
CRAZY EU WASTE
So here are a few of the crazier examples of EU waste that, no doubt, challenged the
nimble brain of Ms Máire Geoghegan Quinn. They include:
An art education project called 'Donkeypedia' in which a donkey travelled through the Netherlands to meet and greet school children. The aim was to "create a reflection of all European identities". The cost? Seven million euros!
The EU spent €72 million on 12 videos to help people quit smoking. Meanwhile the EU continued to subsidise tobacco farmers in Europe, at the rate of €293 million a year.
In the run-up to the June 2009 European elections, EU Communications Commissioner, Margot Wallstrom, launched a pop music campaign to encourage the 18 to 24-year-old age group to vote. The high point was a gathering of young people from European cities who were requested to scream at the top of their voices: “Europe can you hear me?” Cost? €2.3 million. Voter turnout? The lowest ever.
In 2008, the EU spent more than €41 million on ‘information offices,’ one of which is in Dublin. Staff are paid on average €74,000 a year – which may explain their enthusiasm for a Yes vote in the recent referendum
In the past seven years €175 million was given to Sicily to protect against dangerous landslides. No one knows where the money went (probably to the Mafia). Landslides that result in the death and homelessness of many people continue to occur.
Thirty million euros were invested in the development of illegal hotels in Lanzarote, while over a hundred million euros were wasted on fake companies in Spain that promised to provide ‘training courses.’
Even Wolfgang Porsche, chairman of Porsche, was a happy recipient. He received development funds for his estate in Bavaria so that he could hunt wild boar.
Oh, and there was the Swedish farmer who got a EU Single Farm Payment for land on which he grew cannabis plants. Selling the drug is illegal in Sweden but growing the plant is permitted if used for industrial purposes.
No wonder Ms Máire Geoghegan-Quinn was happy to be able to get back to the real world!